Monday, November 15, 2004

Down and Out MDP Puts Mahir on the Forefront

It is know well known that Anni's visit to the UK to address the House of Commons on 26 October turned out to be a big fiasco. First of all, they did not allow the convicted thief anywhere near the Commons chamber. Thus, Anni had to confine himself to a small room for MPs private meetings.

Anni began by addressing the MPs with his typical litany of lies about Maldives saying that Gayyoom was a vampire, that there is an oil rig in Aarah, that Blair had buried at Checkers the monies that Gayyoom gave him as bribes in July 1998, that the real Saddam Hussain has been given asylum in Maldives, that Anni did not steal valuable property belonging to the former President because Anni was the rightful heir of all property belonging to the former President, that NSS people wore berets to conceal their horns, that Fareed is actually gay and not misogynist and that Anni himself believed in gender equality and was in fact a transvestite.
What Anni and David did not reckon was a strong government presence in the meeting. Anni's presentation was shot to smithereens by Ambassador Sobir accompanied by Iru Adams and other representatives of the Government. Yet, worse was to come. After Sobir exposed the lies that Anni was harping about, everyone agreed with Sobir on the following:

1) That Gayyoom is actually a human being.
2) That Sikka has tried to violently overthrow every government since 1967.
3) That Sheikh Rasheed did not turn away from a Cross because he was a vampire. 4) That Anni won the Male seat by a campaign of intimidation and false votes.
5) That Torquemada did not have a cult following in Maldives 6) That there were neither wolves nor sheep in the country.

Anni Pleads Sobir to Love Him as His Neighbour and Not Reveal Damaging Secrets
There was stunned silence among MPs when Sobir revealed that he lived next door to Anni and that he knew all that was happening in Canary House and the lavish and morally decadent lifestyle that Safari Tours resorts allowed Anni to indulge in as a youth.

Ambassador Sobir also said that all that horrific torture allegations were actually tales that Anni as a toddler heard instead of a lullaby when his father was in Vilingili jail under the previous President. They were shocked when they heard that Anni had attacked the elderly brother of Jaadhoo Manik, the jail warden at Vilingili in 1967-71.

The audience was also stunned when Sobir revealed that as a youth, Anni used to throw tantrums and kill goats with bare hands, and beat his girlfriends black and blue.
There were sighs when Sobir revealed that Anni's father-in-law had always been an accomplice of Sikka in attempts to overthrow the government violently.

There were more sighs when Sobir said that what was common to Latheef and Anni was that in both cases their parents had suffered terrible ordeals in jails under previous governments while both had prospered under the current government and that despite their treasonous activities, they were still being awarded government contracts without prejudice.

He told the audience that Anni's favourite pastime as an adolescent was to catch dragonflies and torture them until they died.

Sobir said that as Tourism Minister, he pleaded with Anni not to destroy tourism because his family had lost its chain of 5 resorts due to mismanagement after Sikka was locked up on 24 counts of murder in 1988.

Sobir also told accounts of how Anni tried to dig a well in his house and bury some of those killed on 3 rd November in order to hide evidence before the Indians arrived.

Sobir said that his house and Anni's house were separated by a fence that was barely 5 feet high and that you could hear everything that went on each other's house.
He said that he could smell dope floating in from Anni's house.
Sobir also confirmed that Anni's younger brother, Nazim Sattar was a
committed haabie, who worked in the islands to convert small island communities to fundamentalism.

Sobir said that he was speaking not as an Ambassador, but as a next door neighbour who was fully informed of all the goings on in the Canary House and that his house was called Pink House. He said he was testifying as an eye witness and not as an envoy of Government.
He said it was he who reported the conversations between Sappe's elder brother Mohamed Shafeeg and Anni between September and October 1990, when Anni was paying Shafeeg to buy distress flares to be fired in to the Convention Hall of the SAARC Summit and other tactics to terrorise the President's family.

Sobir said that Anni dared not deny before him that Anni ordered Shafeeg to steal dynamite that was brought to Male to dredge a new harbour by blowing up sections of the reef.
Sobir said that Anni was a little man with a big mouth, who was obsessed with the Great Arson of 1880s which brought the British in to the country to change the government.
After this inevitable and irretrievable defeat, Anni flew back to Colombo in total humiliation and devastation. It was now up to Dave the Knave to stir things up. He begged Sobir to love thy neighbour as thyself and not to beggar thy neighbour. Sobir responded that it was FoM and Anni who were trying to turn Maldives in to beggars. That is why FoM has now decided to call off the Tourism Boycott.

Anyway, the scale of the defeat was evident last Monday. David Hardingham called for a demonstration to bring democracy and reform to the Maldivian High Commission in London. The new High Commissioner had arrived just last month. It was unthinkable for FoM that Gayyoom would send as High Commissioner the next door neighbour of Anni. The whole point of the demo is to get Sobir out of London, because he knew just how to handle Anni and to neutralize Anni completely. Sobir knew too many of Anni's dark secrets.

But the demo was a disaster. Who heeded David's call? Only the granddaughter of Sikka who masterminded the mercenary invasion of 1988, Abujee's daughter, another Sikka clan member, and a German airhead called Sarah Mahir.

After the fiasco, FoM and MDP have changed their tactics. They have decided to play good cop/bad cop. Sappe and DO will be the bad cop - so he calls for the starvation of the people. Dave will come down as the good cop to save the people-so he rejects DO's call for Tourism Boycott. But even this has not worked.

So now their last card. They want to make Mahir their leader.
MDP has been repeatedly accused of being misogynist. This has not been helped by Sappe openly acknowledging that he has close links with Fareed. The only way to repair the damage with women now is to put up Mahir, a hedonist, licentious, character known in Maldives as the Maldivian Jonah Falcon. For church goers, the name Jonah is appealing.
For women, the name Jonah Falcon is also appealing. For more information visit www. hypocrites. com/article l 2580. html

A ladies man, Mahir is going to win over 50 % of the country, and also lay to rest all accusations of MDP being misogynist, that Anni, Sappe, and Latheef and others have abandoned their spouses, and that Fareed is putting the veil on girls in the name of MDP. Another thing: Mahir will scare away Sheikh Rasheed, for Mahir wears a huge iron cross. With Mahir at the helm, the MDP can also dismiss accusations of being hostile to tourism, because Mahir cannot live in Maldives like a local, but as a tourist, and must have a bartender as life support.

One more thing: Mahir is also expected to win the support of the pro-Arab lobby in Maldives. This lobby has just lost their hero of the past 40 years, Yasir Arafat. Mahir is known not only for his bedroom fireworks, but also for his love of fast cars. MDP hopes that they can draw a link between Arafat's love of fast cars and Mahir's love of fast cars. Mahir is also a revered name among those who were educated in Egypt.

Mahir can also be linked to the other great dynasty in this country-the Velaanage dynasty. After all it was the father of the great Mahir clan who brought Coolies from Peshawar in 1915 as mercenaries. Watch out Two-two Zahir. Not only is Mahir the brother of Rado Zahir, but also the brother of the retired Colonel.

The emergence of Mahir has finally solved the problem of MDP's leadership. Gasim is too faint hearted. Zaki has done cardiac bypass. Munavar is not from Male'. Rado Zahir has no charisma. But Mahir has Zaki's sex appeal, Munavvar's audacity, Gasim's duplicity, and Rado Zahir's finances.


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